So Long Rod, You Suck

Who wants to make a bet? I'll give you 10,000:1 odds and I'll front you 50 bucks. I bet that Rod Marinelli gets canned tomorrow and you bet that he stays. Good deal right?Well, the Lions finally carved their name in (tomb)stone for the worst team in the history of the NFL. Hell, I think they carved their name in stone as the worst team in the history of sports. No kidding.At least for us Lions fans, there is some upside to being so terrible. The post season is almost as exciting as the regular season, because now we get to speculate about who will be the next coach. Plus, we now have the #1 draft pick, so we get to foreshadow what the next stupid decision will be for the "franchise QB of the future."First, let's talk about the coaching situation (we‘ll get to the draft soon, I promise). Realistically, there is no chance in hell Rod Marinelli has a job tomorrow. Regardless of how dumb the Lions front office may be, the NFL is a competitive league and nobody keeps a job after an 0-16 season. In fact, it's getting to the point where the NFL is going to have to start imposing on the Lions to make some decent decisions. They really cannot allow this mismanagement to continue much longer. It's bad for the league and really bad for Detroit.What I find interesting about the Lions coaching position is if you think about it, this should be the most coveted job in the NFL. If somebody could come in and right the ship, Parcells-style, they would go down in history as one of the greatest coaches and turnaround artists in sports. Hell, we named a blog after Wayne Fontes and still love him and all he did was win one lousy playoff game. And that was over 15 years ago.So who is one our short list for possible replacements for Rod Marinelli? Well, initially I was on the Bill Cowher bandwagon, but sort of lost hope when it looked like he was headed to Cleveland. Now, he announced that the deal is off, but he doesn't seem to want much to do with the Lions. He is also being looked at more as a Matt Millen replacement rather than a Marinelli replacement. I tend to agree with Zaroo's take it with a grain of salt opinion on this though. Like the great AC/DC once said, "Listen to the money talk."Next on the list would be Steve Spagnuolo from the G-Men. More than anything and consistent with the Cowher view, we need a defensive-minded coach with a track record. Detroit has been seriously lacking in the defensive line department, which if Tennessee and the Giants teach you anything, defensive lines win NFL games these days. For the record, this is just my opinion, but I haven't heard much about any real talks between the two parties.There are a couple other defensive coordinators that would put a big smile on my face. Jim Schwartz would be another dream come true as he is the mastermind behind the ferocious Titans defense. Schwartz is one of the most aggressive defensive coordinators in the league and would be a welcome addition to put a little feist into the stuck-in-quicksand defense. The third choice amongst the defensive coordinator whispers would be Raven's DC, Rex Ryan. Anyone who plays fantasy football knows that Ryan's Ravens are turnover machines and they score points on big plays. Remember big plays? Me either.Unfortunately, a lot of the trendy offensive coordinator names are floating around like Mike Mularkey from the Falcons, Mike Heimerdinger from the Titans, or Todd Haley from the Cards. Quite frankly, I feel like if Mike Martz couldn’t get it done on both sides of the ball, why would one of these guys. I really like these guys, but not for a head coaching gig.I have no interest in Marty-ball (Marty Schottenheimer). Detroit is in no place to hire an old man with a short time horizon. It’s time to start really rebuilding, not re-patching. Everybody always says the Lions are forever rebuilding, but in truth, they are never rebuilding. They are forever trying to fill holes with quick fixes and they have consistently failed to build a foundation for a team. (Ahem, defensive line and linebackers). Think about Chicago for example. They have been struggling to sort out their offense for a few years, but with a strong defensive core, they can afford mistakes and injuries on offense and still compete.Finally, the big rumor floating around is Brian Billick, previously of Ravens and Vikings fame. I tend to agree with my Fanhouse colleague, Ryan Wilson, here. Billick is another old guy who won’t be around long and really isn’t that hot of a commodity these days. Some are saying that Billick and former 49ers head coach, Mike Nolan, are being considered as a package deal. Two crappy head coaches for the price of one? No thanks.Ultimately, my gut is saying put up what ever money it takes and get somebody like Spagnuolo who has a proven track record and can build a defense. The offense hasn’t really been the issue. They score points with Orlovsky. They score points with Culpepper. And they score points with whoever else they fill in there. It’s the defense that needs the most help. Get somebody who will focus on that first.Subscribe to us